Abusive Behavior Checklist
Verbal Abuse
• Ignore your feelings
• Disrespect you
• Ridicule or insult you then tell you its a joke, or that you have no sense of humor
• Ridicule your beliefs, religion, race, heritage or class
• Withhold approval, appreciation or affection
• Give you the silent treatment
• Walk away without answering you
• Criticize you, call you names, yell at you
• Humiliate you privately or in public
• Roll his or her eyes when you talk
• Give you a hard time about socializing with your friends or family
• Make you socialize (and keep up appearances) even when you don't feel well
• Seem to make sure that what you really want is exactly what you won't get
• Tell you you are too sensitive
• Hurt you especially when you are down
• Seem energized by fighting, while fighting exhausts you
• Have unpredictable mood swings, alternating from good to bad for no apparent reason
• Present a wonderful face to the world and is well liked by outsiders
• "Twist" your words, somehow turning what you said against you
• Try to control decisions, money, even the way you style your hair or wear your clothes
• Complain about how badly you treat him
• Threaten to leave, or threaten to throw you out
• Say things that make you feel good, but do things that make you feel bad
• Ever left you stranded
• Ever threaten to hurt you or your family
• Ever hit or pushed you, even "accidentally"
• Seem to stir up trouble just when you seem to be getting closer to each other
• Abuse something you love: a pet, a child, an object
• Compliment you enough to keep you happy, yet criticize you enough to keep you insecure
• Promise to never do something hurtful again
• Harass you about imagined affairs
• Manipulate you with lies and contradictions
• Destroy furniture, punch holes in walls, break appliances
• Drive like a road-rage junkie
• Act immature and selfish, yet accuse you his behaviors
• Question your every move and motive, somehow questioning your competence
• Interrupt you; hear but not really listen
• Make you feel like you can't win; whatever you do is never right
• Use drugs and/or alcohol. Are things worse then?
• Incite you to rage, which is "proof" that you are to blame
• Try to convince you he or she is "right," while you are "wrong"
• Frequently say things that are later denied or accuse you of misunderstanding
• Treat you like a sex object, or as though sex should be provided on demand regardless of how you feel
Emotional Abuse
- Frequently blames or criticizes you
- Calls you names
- Ridicules your beliefs, religion, race or class
- Blames you for "causing" the abuse
- Ridicules/makes bad remarks about your gender
- Criticizes or threatens to hurt your family or friends
- Isolates you from your family and friends
- Abuses animals
- Tries to keep you from doing something you wanted to do
- Is angry if you pay too much attention to someone or something else (children, friends, school, etc.)
- Withholds approval, appreciation or affection
- Humiliates you
- Becomes angry if meals or housework are not done to his liking
- Makes contradictory demands
- Does not include you in important decisions
- Does not allow you to sleep
- Repeatedly harasses you about things you did in the past
- Takes away car keys, money or credit cards
- Threatens to leave or told you to leave.
- Checks up on you (listens to your phone calls, looks at phone bills, checks the mileage on the car, etc.)
- Tells people you suffer from a mental illness
- Threatens to commit suicide
- Interferes with your work or school (provokes a fight in the morning, calls to harass you at work, etc.)
- Minimizes or denies being abusive
- Abuses your children
- Breaks dates and cancels plans without reason
- Uses drugs or alcohol to excuse their behavior
- Uses phrases like "I'll show you who is boss," "I'll put you in line"
- Uses loud or intimidating tone of voice
- Comes home at late hours refusing an explanation
- Makes all the decisions about money
- Takes care of all financial matters without your input
- Criticizes the way or amounts of money you spend
- Places you on a budget that is unrealistic
- Prohibits your access to bank accounts and credit cards
- Refuses to put your name on joint assets
- Controls your paycheck
- Refuses you access to money
- Refuses to let you work
- Refuses to get a job
- Refuses to pay bills
- Causes you to lose your job
- Pressures you to have sex
- Pressures you to perform sexual acts that make you uncomfortable or hurt you
- Directs physical injury toward sexual areas of your body
- Puts you at risk for unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases
- Withholds sex or affection
- Calls you sexual names ("whore", "bitch", etc.)
- Tells anti-woman jokes or demeans women verbally/attacks your femininity
- Accuses you of having or wanting sex with others
- Forces you to have sex with others
- Threatens to disclose your relationship when you did not want it known
- Forces you to view pornography
- Pressures you to dress in a certain way
- Disregards your sexual needs and feelings about sex
- Accuses you of being gay if you refused sex
- Spreads rumors about your sexual behaviors
- Forces you or refuses to let you use birth control
- Makes unwanted public sexual advances
- Makes remarks about your sexual abilities in private or in front of others
- Rapes and sexually assaults you
- Makes you feel guilty about your children
- Uses children to relay negative messages
- Uses children to report on your activities
- Uses visitation to harass you
- Threatens to take custody of your children
- Threatens to kidnap your children
- Pushes, grabs or shoves you
- Slaps you
- Spits at you
- Punches you
- Kicks you
- Chokes you
- Pinches you
- Pulls your hair
- Burns you
- Bites you
- Ties you up
- Forces you to share needles with others
- Threatens you with a knife, gun or other weapon
- Uses a knife, gun or other weapon
- Prevents you from leaving an area/physically restrains you
- Throws objects
- Destroys property or your possessions
- Drives recklessly to frighten you
- Disregards your needs when you are ill, injured or pregnant
- Abuses you while you are pregnant
- Forces you to abort a pregnancy
SAFETY ALERT!
Abuse is Always Wrong!
We are all made in the image of God,
~~~~~~~
No one has the right to abuse the image
of God.
