Abusive Behavior Checklist
     Verbal Abuse                                                                                                               
      •    Ignore your feelings     
      •    Disrespect you             
      •    Ridicule or insult you then tell you its a joke, or that you have no sense of humor           
      •    Ridicule your beliefs, religion, race, heritage or class
      •    Withhold approval, appreciation or affection               
      •    Give you the silent treatment                                   
      •    Walk away without answering you                             
      •    Criticize you, call you names, yell at you                     
      •    Humiliate you privately or in public                            
      •    Roll his or her eyes when you talk                            
      •    Give you a hard time about socializing with your friends or family    
      •    Make you socialize (and keep up appearances) even when you don't feel well
      •    Seem to make sure that what you really want is exactly what you won't get
      •    Tell you you are too sensitive                            
      •    Hurt you especially when you are down               
      •    Seem energized by fighting, while fighting exhausts you       
      •    Have unpredictable mood swings, alternating from good to bad for no apparent reason   
      •    Present a wonderful face to the world and is well liked by outsiders
      •    "Twist" your words, somehow turning what you said against you      
      •    Try to control decisions, money, even the way you style your hair or wear your clothes
      •    Complain about how badly you treat him            
      •    Threaten to leave, or threaten to throw you out           
      •    Say things that make you feel good, but do things that make you feel bad
      •    Ever left you stranded  
      •    Ever threaten to hurt you or your family           
      •    Ever hit or pushed you, even "accidentally"    
      •    Seem to stir up trouble just when you seem to be getting closer to each other
      •    Abuse something you love: a pet, a child, an object
      •    Compliment you enough to keep you happy, yet criticize you enough to keep you insecure  
      •    Promise to never do something hurtful again                  
      •    Harass you about imagined affairs                              
      •    Manipulate you with lies and contradictions                   
      •    Destroy furniture, punch holes in walls, break appliances
      •    Drive like a  road-rage junkie
      •    Act immature and selfish, yet accuse you his behaviors        
      •    Question your every move and motive, somehow questioning your competence
      •    Interrupt you; hear but not really listen           
      •    Make you feel like you can't win; whatever you do is never right
      •    Use drugs and/or alcohol. Are things worse then? 
      •    Incite you to rage, which is "proof" that you are to blame
      •    Try to convince you he or she is "right," while you are "wrong"
      •    Frequently say things that are later denied or accuse you of misunderstanding
      •    Treat you like a sex object, or as though sex should be provided on demand regardless of how you feel

      Emotional Abuse                                                                                                      
  • Frequently blames or criticizes you
  • Calls you names
  • Ridicules your beliefs, religion, race or class
  • Blames you for "causing" the abuse
  • Ridicules/makes bad remarks about your gender
  • Criticizes or threatens to hurt your family or friends
  • Isolates you from your family and friends
  • Abuses animals
  • Tries to keep you from doing something you wanted to do
  • Is angry if you pay too much attention to someone or something else (children, friends, school, etc.)
  • Withholds approval, appreciation or affection
  • Humiliates you
  • Becomes angry if meals or housework are not done to his liking
  • Makes contradictory demands
  • Does not include you in important decisions
  • Does not allow you to sleep
  • Repeatedly harasses you about things you did in the past
  • Takes away car keys, money or credit cards
  • Threatens to leave or told you to leave.
  • Checks up on you (listens to your phone calls, looks at phone bills, checks the mileage on the car, etc.)
  • Tells people you suffer from a mental illness
  • Threatens to commit suicide
  • Interferes with your work or school (provokes a fight in the morning, calls to harass you at work, etc.)
  • Minimizes or denies being abusive
  • Abuses your children
  • Breaks dates and cancels plans without reason
  • Uses drugs or alcohol to excuse their behavior
  • Uses phrases like "I'll show you who is boss," "I'll put you in line"
  • Uses loud or intimidating tone of voice
  • Comes home at late hours refusing an explanation
   Financial Abuse                                                                                                          
  • Makes all the decisions about money
  • Takes care of all financial matters without your input
  • Criticizes the way or amounts of money you spend
  • Places you on a budget that is unrealistic
  • Prohibits your access to bank accounts and credit cards
  • Refuses to put your name on joint assets
  • Controls your paycheck
  • Refuses you access to money
  • Refuses to let you work
  • Refuses to get a job
  • Refuses to pay bills
  • Causes you to lose your job
   Sexual Abuse
  • Pressures you to have sex
  • Pressures you to perform sexual acts that make you uncomfortable or hurt you
  • Directs physical injury toward sexual areas of your body
  • Puts you at risk for unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases
  • Withholds sex or affection
  • Calls you sexual names ("whore", "bitch", etc.)
  • Tells anti-woman jokes or demeans women verbally/attacks your femininity
  • Accuses you of having or wanting sex with others
  • Forces you to have sex with others
  • Threatens to disclose your relationship when you did not want it known
  • Forces you to view pornography
  • Pressures you to dress in a certain way
  • Disregards your sexual needs and feelings about sex
  • Accuses you of being gay if you refused sex
  • Spreads rumors about your sexual behaviors
  • Forces you or refuses to let you use birth control
  • Makes unwanted public sexual advances
  • Makes remarks about your sexual abilities in private or in front of others
  • Rapes and sexually assaults you
   Using Children                                                                                                       
  • Makes you feel guilty about your children
  • Uses children to relay negative messages
  • Uses children to report on your activities
  • Uses visitation to harass you
  • Threatens to take custody of your children
  • Threatens to kidnap your children
   Physical Abuse                                                                                                            
  • Pushes, grabs or shoves you
  • Slaps you
  • Spits at you
  • Punches you
  • Kicks you
  • Chokes you
  • Pinches you
  • Pulls your hair
  • Burns you
  • Bites you
  • Ties you up
  • Forces you to share needles with others
  • Threatens you with a knife, gun or other weapon
  • Uses a knife, gun or other weapon
  • Prevents you from leaving an area/physically restrains you
  • Throws objects
  • Destroys property or your possessions
  • Drives recklessly to frighten you
  • Disregards your needs when you are ill, injured or pregnant
  • Abuses you while you are pregnant
  • Forces you to abort a pregnancy

Abuse is Always Wrong!


We are all made in the image of God,
  No one has the right to abuse the image
of God.